Resources For Supporting Your Suicidal Child

5 Ways to Support Your Suicidal Child

1. Talk to your child in a caring, nonjudgmental and compassionate way

Talking to your child about their suicidal thoughts WILL NOT increase their risk of committing suicide. In fact, having an open conversation can decrease their risk by creating a sense of connection. It’s common for adolescents to want to avoid the topic, so be patient and sensitive to this when talking to your child. This is a time for support and not blame or assigning fault.

Use statements like:

• I know this is hard to talk about. I promise I won’t judge you.
• It sounds like you’re in a tremendous amount of pain and can’t see any other way out.
• I imagine life feels just so complicated and difficult right now.
• It sounds like the hurt is overwhelming right now.
• I don’t have all the answers but I am here with you.
• It sounds like you are feeling ____
• How can I help?
• When is it the toughest for you and what can I do in those moments?

Do NOT say:

• Just try to think more positively. (This infers their feelings aren't valid)
• You don’t mean that. (This infers they aren’t serious or really struggling)
• I am not going to give you attention because you say things like that. (This infers they are doing it for attention)

For more tips check out this article by the Jed Foundation on how to ask your child about their suicidal thoughts. 

2. Create a safe home environment

If your child is expressing suicidal thoughts it is important to be aware of what you have around in your home that they may try to access in order to harm themselves. Make sure all weapons, sharp objects, medications, and any other lethal means are locked away securely. Limiting access to lethal means is one of the most effective ways to keep your child safe.
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The Harvard Means Matter program offers additional information and guidance.

3. Be aware of warning signs and risk factors

Your child may be telling you that they are fine and that this is all a big misunderstanding. Although that might be the case, it is important that you take suicidal threats and suicidal ideation seriously. If you have a feeling that something is still very wrong and your child is suffering in silence then please take further steps to ensure their safety.

Warning Signs:

• Changes in physical appearance or hygiene
• Sudden drop in grades or disinterest in things they used to enjoy doing
• Spending more time alone or pushing people away (social isolation)
• New risky behaviors (sex, drugs, self-harm, driving too fast)
• Talking about feelings of hopelessness or nothing to live for
• Researching suicide on their devices
• Giving away possessions

Your child may also be experiencing events in their life that have increased their emotional distress and thus increased their risk of acting on suicidal thoughts or urges. Ask your child if there is anything going on that has been stressing them out lately. Common risk factors are listed below.

Common Risk Factors:

• Bullying or harassment (in person or online)
• Discrimination, rejection, or negative attention due to their gender or sexual identity
• Racism, discrimination, or social inequality
• Witnessing or experiencing violence or domestic abuse
• Family conflict, divorce, deployment, deportation or incarceration
• Loss of a loved one or pet
• Suicide in their school, friend group, or someone they follow on social media
• Stigma - the belief that it's wrong or shameful to talk about mental health

4. Create or talk through a safety plan

A safety plan is a list of actions your child can take as an alternative to engaging in self harm. A mental health professional can create a safety plan with your child. A safety plan often includes the following:

• Warning signs or triggers that may increase suicidal thoughts
• Coping stategies to support managing and decreasing suicidal urges
• Reasons for living
• Ways to make the home or school environment safe
• A list of people or organizations a child can contact for support

Ask your child’s school counselor about creating or reviewing their safety plan. Your child can use Alongside to create their own safety plan.

5. Connect your child with additional support

If you have not done so already, this may be the ideal time to consult with a mental health professional. Your child's school may have a list of local mental health resources for you and your child. Look for a licensed therapist who has experience working with suicidal adolescents. It is understandable that putting your child into therapy can be a difficult decision. Having a trained professional providing support for your child can be a great benefit to them on their path to feeling better.

Additional Resources

The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for children and adults experiencing suicidal ideation or thoughts of self-harm. You may also call to receive information on ways to support your child.
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- Call 988 or text TALK to 741741
- 988 Youth Resources

The Society for Prevention of Child Suicide provides a variety of resources for parents, educators, and teens.

- Parent Resource Hub
- Not My Kid: What Every Parent Should Know About Child Suicide
- Teen Resource Hub

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) provides online and community-based resources for adolescents and their families. Check out their local chapters for community-based support groups.

- How to talk about suicide
- What parents should know
- Find local programs

The Trevor Project website provides resources for LGBTQIA+ children and their families. Children can call or text their 24/7 hotline for support from a trained counselor.

- Call 1-866-488-7386 or text 678678
- Guide for Preventing Suicide

The American Psychological Association is the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States. They provide an extensive list of resources for professionals and parents.

- Psychologist Locator
- APA Suicide Prevention Resources
- Crisis Hotline Database
- Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention

The Child Mind Institute is a non-profit with a multitude of helpful articles and resources.

- Child Suicide Risk Factors
- What to Do if You're Worried About Suicide: A parent's guide to helping a child in distress

FAQ

Why did you text me?
‍Your child requested we text you and share this resource and information. This is a standard question we ask all students who report suicidal ideation to Alongside.

‍What will the school do?
‍Every school has a slightly different protocol for handling safety concerns. However, this typically includes assessing the type and severity of your child’s concerns and connecting with parents or guardians to provide information about what is going on and the type of support your child needs.

‍What is Alongside?
‍Alongside is an app and online mental wellness tool that helps students develop the foundational skills needed to build healthy relationships, cope with life challenges and build emotional regulation skills. Alongside is not a mental health treatment program, it does not provide therapy, and does not provide crisis counseling or support. Students are never chatting or interacting with a live person when using Alongside. As we are an educational tool, we monitor for students who need additional support that we cannot provide. The school is notified of all students who need additional support. Your school has chosen to provide Alongside to its students this year. If you would no longer like to have your child access Alongside, please email privacy@alongside.care and include your child’s name and school email address.

‍Don’t adolescents just do this for attention?
‍No. Suicidal ideation tends to be a symptom of experiencing significant mental pain. Many adolescents experience chronic suicidal ideation and never take action to harm themselves. However, it is incredibly important to take your child’s concerns seriously and not dismiss them. There is no way to predict which adolescents will take action to harm themselves. Many times behaviors that seem like they are trying to gain attention are an indication your child is experiencing emotional distress, sadness, or anxiety and they don’t know how to put that into words. Please consult with a licensed mental health profession to learn more.